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Polarity Principles, a.k.a Rant on Gender Roles, Societal Pressures, and Achieving Sexual Fulfillment

Written by lizleia
Tuesday, 11 June 2013 23:18
15 Comments

iStock_genderfliflopsXSmallIt’s time for a rant on clarifying the difference between assigning gender roles and practicing polarity in your relationship. Call this another installment of “myths that fuck up your chance to be happy with your dating/relationship life.” Turning the idea of masculinity and femininity into something that you “should” do based on what body parts are between your legs will ultimately limit your ability to attract people, and rob you of feeling satisfied (dare I say fulfilled?) by your romantic relationships.

A couple of weeks ago, I posted 2 articles on Masculine Leadership and Feminine Surrender. Although in both articles I mentioned that these were ideas to help enhance relationships, and NOT intending to dole out gender role assignments, it seems like further discussion on this idea is merited, as I would like to further clarify what I mean when I say “the yang partner” and “the yin partner” in a relationship.

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Interviews with Experts: Dating Expert Amy Schoen

Written by lizleia
Thursday, 30 May 2013 22:18
No Comments

Photo-CoachAmyHere is another installment of my Interviews with Experts Series. These content-rich interviews cover different topics that relate to flirting, dating, relationships, and personal development (after all, I don’t know everything ;) ).

I recently interviewed Life Coach and Dating Expert Amy Schoen, founder of Motivated to Marry, on finding the right marriage partner!

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Leadership Part 2: How to Inspire His Strength Through Being More Feminine

Written by lizleia
Thursday, 23 May 2013 23:01
13 Comments

iStock_EvewithAppleXSmallWhen I was single and searching, one thing that I craved more than anything was a man who was capable of being a strong leader, especially with me (I can be a tough nut to crack sometimes). When I learned about the differences between yin and yang–one being necessary for the other, I realized that if I wanted a strong, yang man, I would need to be more yin, more feminine. This intuition was echoed by the advice given to me by my dating coach at the time.

One of the difficulties I immediately ran into was that I felt like I still had to wait around for a man to start leading me in order to follow him, and surrender to him. Over time, though, I realized that yin can actually initiate, in her own way, a good polarity, where one partner is more in charge, and the other more receptive and surrendered.

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Leadership Part 1: Becoming the Masculine Leader that Women are Looking For

Written by lizleia
Thursday, 16 May 2013 20:10
50 Comments

iStock_ManLeadingWomanXSmallMany pick-up gurus, as well as those who teach about masculinity, have touted a man’s ability to lead as key to attracting women. You’ve probably heard me talk about leadership before, but I’ve never really gotten into what’s necessary to be the kind of leader that is attractive to the feminine.

Polarity is a necessary ingredient in sexual attraction, and, although polarity can get quite complex, I have come to realize that, in the context of human relationships (romantic and otherwise) it all boils down to leading and following. In a well-balanced  romantic relationship, you will have a yang (masculine) partner and a yin (feminine) partner, the yang being the leader. For the sake of simplicity, I will say “man” and “woman,” however, note that this is not always the case, nor *should* it be. Any two beings can take on the role of being yang and yin with each other.

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Paleolithic Lovin’: Dispelling Myths About How Our Ancestors Attracted Each Other

Written by lizleia
Wednesday, 08 May 2013 19:33
23 Comments

iStock_cavemanpaintingXSmallA few weeks ago, I posted this article in the comments of my post, Do Women Have an Advantage in Dating?. A couple of days ago, my fiance emailed me this article.

Both have inspired a bit of a rant about some of the false ideas that we have about our sexual ancestry, and what it means for us in the dating world today.

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What Does it Mean to ‘Lead Someone On’?

Written by lizleia
Friday, 03 May 2013 21:54
1 Comment

Short LeashWhen I was in my early 20’s, I met a guy in a bar, and he flirted heavily with me. I gave him my number, he walked me to my door and kissed me goodnight (and it was NOT just a friendly kiss on the cheek!). He called me the next day and asked me out to coffee. When we met for coffee, I referred to it as a “date” and he shook his head, “No, no, you have the wrong idea. I have a girlfriend. I just thought you’d be a cool person to hang out with.” I was shocked, and incredibly let down. Why had he acted that way at the bar, and asked me out, if he had no intention of dating me?

Have you ever had someone lead you on? You could swear they were flirting with you! But as soon as you made a move or made your interest more explicit, they said, “Hey, no, I don’t think of you that way.”

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